When a husband (or boyfriend or sex buddy to be PC) learns that they are going to be a father, after the initial shock and "OH SHIT" we try to think about what we can do to help our significant other. Most of the time they say that the best thing to do is to be there for them and support them through the process. That's all well and good but at some point in time the man is going to feel distanced or wondering what he can do during this process. In fact, there are many times when the husband (or neanderthal if you wish HAHA) will feel neglected during it all. But if we fight through it there will come a time when your wife, girlfriend, or who ever it is will need you.
Take today as an example. We are working on getting our nursery painted. A pregnant woman shouldn't probably not help you paint because, one the fumes from the paint are probably not the best on her system. And two, because there involves alot of climbing, reaching, and kneeling which may upset the baby inside ( is that an old wives tail) or be uncomfortable for her. This is one of the times that you can finally feel apart of the pregnancy. That is saying that you aren't in the process of talking to the strange object inside your partner's belly or feeling your little kick-boxers kicks and punches.
But as we continue to prepare the nursery for our little ones arrival in late October or early November, I have noticed that I am doing many things around the house to get it ready. Building the crib, and changing table, making the closet more functional for the baby clothing, baby proofing the house, and finally getting the cars ready to take the baby for a drive when you can't get it to go to sleep. HAHA
Yes, it is difficult for us as men to feel apart of this because we aren't feeling what is going on inside our significant others belly. But just remember that you will be doing things to help prepare for the baby's arrival that she can't and that (next to being there at the hospital during labor) is one of the best ways you can show that you truly are supporting her and to make you feel connected.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
27 Weeks down 13 to go
27 weeks ago my beautiful wife and I, in the middle of a bathroom renovation, found out that she was pregnant with our first child. We had been told that it might be difficult for us to have children and come to find out it wasn't really that hard. In fact I told the doctor "I guess we hit it right on the nose" when I found out. HAHA boy that was stupid. I'm sure he has had people who have said much more stupid things then that when they found out.
Are we ready to become parents? Probably not. Am I ready to become a father? HELL NO! I still have dreams of being able to do what I wanted with my wife like take vacations, dinners together, nights on the town, just spending time with the two of us on our time. I am not ready to give all of that up. I am not ready for my life to circle around a pooping, puking, sleeping newborn! To make matters worse with my work schedule I am going to be the one who is going to be the primary care giver to our child, I know that I am definitely not ready for that. I also felt like with my work schedule I was going to miss out on alot of my kids life when he is older. I have read lots of research about men who suffer from post-partum depression. But now I bring up the question, can a man suffer from pre-partum depression. But lately I've been always wondering... Am I going to be a good father? Do I have the skills needed to be a parent at all? What's going to happen to my family if something happens to me at work? What will I do when I have to change our baby's diaper for the first time? But you want to know something... despite these questions and feelings IT'S EXCITING! (now I am just waiting for what my wife will say tonight when I get home after reading this)
Hopefully seeing our baby on Wednesday at our next sonogram and check up will cheer me up alittle.
That's why I started this blog. Not only to help me have a place where I can vent but also to jot down some of my thoughts and my findings from being a first time dad. So in the future expect new pictures/videos and better enhancements to the blog. Hope you enjoy!
Are we ready to become parents? Probably not. Am I ready to become a father? HELL NO! I still have dreams of being able to do what I wanted with my wife like take vacations, dinners together, nights on the town, just spending time with the two of us on our time. I am not ready to give all of that up. I am not ready for my life to circle around a pooping, puking, sleeping newborn! To make matters worse with my work schedule I am going to be the one who is going to be the primary care giver to our child, I know that I am definitely not ready for that. I also felt like with my work schedule I was going to miss out on alot of my kids life when he is older. I have read lots of research about men who suffer from post-partum depression. But now I bring up the question, can a man suffer from pre-partum depression. But lately I've been always wondering... Am I going to be a good father? Do I have the skills needed to be a parent at all? What's going to happen to my family if something happens to me at work? What will I do when I have to change our baby's diaper for the first time? But you want to know something... despite these questions and feelings IT'S EXCITING! (now I am just waiting for what my wife will say tonight when I get home after reading this)
Hopefully seeing our baby on Wednesday at our next sonogram and check up will cheer me up alittle.
That's why I started this blog. Not only to help me have a place where I can vent but also to jot down some of my thoughts and my findings from being a first time dad. So in the future expect new pictures/videos and better enhancements to the blog. Hope you enjoy!
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